Gone But Not Forgotten
If I'm bad at anything - and trust me, I'm bad at so many things - the thing I may fail at most regularly is selling cars. Selling a car just seems so... wrong. I mean, would you sell your children? Especially if they could do zero to sixty in less than six seconds?
Unfortunately, this hasn't always been the case. Before I moved to the Great State of Texas I was like so many other people - living in urban areas, always running out of space, being told what to do by liberals and other assorted idiots. And, sadly, I did part with a few cars.
Here are a few highlights of the ones that got away. I miss them all.
Unfortunately, this hasn't always been the case. Before I moved to the Great State of Texas I was like so many other people - living in urban areas, always running out of space, being told what to do by liberals and other assorted idiots. And, sadly, I did part with a few cars.
Here are a few highlights of the ones that got away. I miss them all.
1961 Austin Healey MKI BT7
This is Maribelle. The best car I ever owned. I didn't sell her. I would have never done that. She died in a fire. RIP pretty girl.
This is Maribelle. The best car I ever owned. I didn't sell her. I would have never done that. She died in a fire. RIP pretty girl.
2007 Aston Martin V8 Vantage
My first Aston. Only gave it up for my N400. When I gave it back to the dealer I extracted a promise that they would only sell it to a non-smoker with a heated garage. I hope she's doing well.
My first Aston. Only gave it up for my N400. When I gave it back to the dealer I extracted a promise that they would only sell it to a non-smoker with a heated garage. I hope she's doing well.
2001 Porsche 911 Carrera 4 Cabriolet
Such a great car. I started with the most highly-optioned 911 I had ever seen - sport seats, full aero kit, painted console, headrest crests, and so much more. Then I took the car to the Porsche racing specialists at Farnbacher Loles and had them re-work the motor and install a supercharger. The result? A completely ridiculous (and fun as hell) car. I sold her because I needed room in the garage. I should have built another garage.
Such a great car. I started with the most highly-optioned 911 I had ever seen - sport seats, full aero kit, painted console, headrest crests, and so much more. Then I took the car to the Porsche racing specialists at Farnbacher Loles and had them re-work the motor and install a supercharger. The result? A completely ridiculous (and fun as hell) car. I sold her because I needed room in the garage. I should have built another garage.
2005 Jaguar S-Type R
My attempt at being a grownup and driving a sedan.
390hp. Great big Brembo brakes. I had a lot of fun in this car. I sold it to a dentist from Westport, CT. When I told him it had three hundred and ninety horses under the hood he said his daughter had a horse named Butterlady. I should have stopped the sale on principle.
My attempt at being a grownup and driving a sedan.
390hp. Great big Brembo brakes. I had a lot of fun in this car. I sold it to a dentist from Westport, CT. When I told him it had three hundred and ninety horses under the hood he said his daughter had a horse named Butterlady. I should have stopped the sale on principle.
2007 Hummer H2 Luxury Edition
Let me tell you about Greenwhich, CT. A suburb of Manhattan, Greenwich is routinely referred to as the wealthiest town in America. Here's a few people who live there: Donald Trump, Ron Howard, Diana Ross, Mel Gibson, Kathy Lee Gifford, Tommy Hilfiger, Regis Philbin, Vince McMahon and Justin Timberlake.
And, for several years, me. I was well known as the town poor person.
Because there's so much money in Greenwich, the people think they're really important. Like REALLY important. Take my neighbor, for instance. He lived in a hundred million dollar house. Seriously. This caused huge problems between he and I. Mostly because of my cars. You see, the breakfast room of his house (yes, he called it a breakfast room) looked out over my property and he didn't like it if I had a car in my driveway. He thought a car outside of the garage was seriously uncouth. He and I had words about it. I may have threatened to kick his ass. He may have called the cops. It's all a little fuzzy according to my lawyer's advice.
At any rate, what I do remember is buying a bright yellow Hummer one day and then deciding that the best place to park it was right on the edge of my property and directly in front of his breakfast room window. I did that petty much every day for two years before I moved to Austin.
I wonder if he misses me?
Let me tell you about Greenwhich, CT. A suburb of Manhattan, Greenwich is routinely referred to as the wealthiest town in America. Here's a few people who live there: Donald Trump, Ron Howard, Diana Ross, Mel Gibson, Kathy Lee Gifford, Tommy Hilfiger, Regis Philbin, Vince McMahon and Justin Timberlake.
And, for several years, me. I was well known as the town poor person.
Because there's so much money in Greenwich, the people think they're really important. Like REALLY important. Take my neighbor, for instance. He lived in a hundred million dollar house. Seriously. This caused huge problems between he and I. Mostly because of my cars. You see, the breakfast room of his house (yes, he called it a breakfast room) looked out over my property and he didn't like it if I had a car in my driveway. He thought a car outside of the garage was seriously uncouth. He and I had words about it. I may have threatened to kick his ass. He may have called the cops. It's all a little fuzzy according to my lawyer's advice.
At any rate, what I do remember is buying a bright yellow Hummer one day and then deciding that the best place to park it was right on the edge of my property and directly in front of his breakfast room window. I did that petty much every day for two years before I moved to Austin.
I wonder if he misses me?
